Anniversary
by NanaMun
Summary: Jacob, I've been forever searching for a forgotten family. One I never rightly had. How foolish and blind I was not to realize that you were exactly that. You're my confidante, my best friend, and most of all, everything.


**Author's Notes: **This One-Shot is written in thanks to **gayboiinsc **who happened to get a correct answer from a random trivia question from one of my fanfics. The desire was to have a Wedding/Honeymoon story set in Ireland and somehow it rolled in my brain and came out like this. A lot of time and working out went into this baby and it's a VERY late B-day present, yet still...here it is *kicks rocks* It's readers like you that makes creating these worlds so worth it. And I apologize if I totally took the idea to crazy levels. :(

Hope readers enjoy. I tried to put a lot of heard into this one.

Characters not own by me of course.

**xXx**

**Anniversary**

With the heat of the Spring rays on my bare back and the soft, warm skin against my thigh and arm, I awake with a content moan at the dawning thought of the date.

_Do you know what today is?_

Turning on my side, I catch the object of my existence and freeze in mid-motion. Has he always been this beautiful? It doesn't take a second to answer this absurd question.

_Always._

His impressive torso and sculpted chest rises and falls to an unheard rhythm in his slumber. He kicks at night - a fighter through and through - so the thin white sheets are bunched just under his strong legs, giving me a perfect view of his naked body, his sleeping arousal nested on his brown thigh.

A short grunt brings me up to meet his face. His right arm is thrown above his head, flattening his short cut, elbows pointed in my direction. His full lips are drawn into a pout as he mumbles to himself in his sleep - another symptom of his night rest. This, I can never tire of and I thank God every morning that I can witness it for the rest of my life.

"_How'd I get such a perfect man?"_ I had asked, the first day on our honeymoon. He was tucked under my arm, spent from countless hours of our bodies tangled in heat and desire.

_"The luck of the Irish?"_ He joked lightly, but perhaps he was right.

Turning on his side, facing me, he whimpers this time, reaching out blindly as if trying to grasp something that is just too fast to catch, "Edward." Is his whispered word. On reflex, I slide across the bed, wrapping a protective arm around his waist and bringing him closer to me. I press my lips against his ear and whisper back that I am there and he settles, falling under again.

The first night I heard him speak in his sleep, I was enthralled. I was always able to read him so easily, but even then, he knew how to hide well. A moment with him in our bed, I could hear every fear and desire if I was clever enough to piece the words together. His second night in my arms, I was alarmed to find my name on his lips. Up until that point, I wasn't very sure if he felt what I felt - that burning sting whenever we parted, and the zap of energy, like a jumpstart whenever our bodies touched. But I was wrong, hearing him that night. His confession was out and I was sure to express my mutual feelings that next morning.

I chuckle against my lover's ear, recalling just how fast we molded into the other. A year was lived in the day I met him.

_3 Years, 4 months Ago_

The November air was a reminder just why I should never forget my coat at home. It had been another restless night, trying to prepare myself for the day. Had it really been 19 years since that dreadful morning?

I shook my head, allowing my dew heavy hair to resettle on my head. There was no time to think about it now. There was work to be done. It wasn't obligatory to make weekly visits. Most of my work could be done at home, if I wasn't needed for traveling and meetings. Afterall, I had a business partner who was willing to do most of the tedious work. Not that I allowed it. I've had to travel between Chicago, Los Angeles, New York and Seattle the last few weeks just to make sure the other branches were up to par. That, I could not force upon a partner with an actual family and life waiting at home.

My cell phone rang just as I stepped through the wide, glass doors, noting how the holiday displays were already put in place, "Masen." I spoke into the phone, my business voice firmly in place.

"Oh honey, do you even check to see who's calling?" I heard my aunt's tinkling voice and was reminded briefly of her daughter.

"Well considering I just stepped into the building..." I let the words trail off, expecting the reaction I was so sure to get.

"What?" She nearly screeched, "Honey, you've been all over the country the last two weeks! _What_ are you doing here? I told you I have everything handled." For a business partner, she sounded more like a scolding mother, but that was to be expected since she had raised me through my childhood and teen years.

I attempted assurance, "Esme, I'm fine. In fact, I'm pretty good with being here today." It was a lie. But there was simply nowhere else to go. Work was the only thing that could distract me from this _anniversary_.

Like the observant woman she was, my aunt picked up on my words, "Hmm," She said skeptically, "You march yourself right to my store."

**xXx**

_Esme Isle Jewels_ was more of a quaint shop compared to the upscale stores in the Galleria. It was my uncle's Christmas present some years ago to my aunt to keep her busy while I helped run the Masen business. She had enjoyed working immensely, but was still adamant that I had the option of taking over her and my father's company. For the most part, Esme made unique jewelry and accessories at an affordable price suitable for any customer. She had an knack for creation and was more successful than she ever expected to be. Suffices to say, she was running another business these days.

Esme secured a hand under her chin, resting her elbows on the mahogany counter as she sat comfortably on her black, leather, high back stool, "Alright, why are you working today?"

"I'm just keeping busy." I shrugged, trying to play nonchalance, but her eyes only narrowed.

"Keeping busy with what, honey?" She frowned before sitting up on her elbows, "From thinking about it?"

It wasn't hard to read me around this time of the year. It was still tough getting over the idea that I now had a business to uphold from a man I barely even knew. Even with the support of his sister, I didn't have the man to tell me who I was, what I was a part of and why I shared the same name as him.

There were some things that were beyond the help of my adoptive parents.

Watching her struggle between maternal protection and advisor showed that she knew exactly that.

"I'm an old record, huh?" I attempted weakly as a joke. She humored me with the same short effort of a smile, but her eyes reflected sadness. This was her brother and sister - in - law. Her family too.

"You're just stuck in a groove, love." She said with a tragic sigh.

"For the last 19 years." My tone was bitter and she knew it.

There wasn't much time to marinate on the thought. Just as the words left my mouth, the silent chime of a customer stepping into the shop had Esme craning her neck around me to see who had entered. I turned, catching sight of four figures in the doorway. The first being a rather calm looking gentleman in casual clothes. He looked to be around my age.

"Good Morning," My aunt greeted, "How may I help you, honey?"

The man approached to my left, smiling politely my way as I stepped aside, so he could be face - to - face with Esme, "Do you have a turquoise stone collection?" He asked in a deep, smooth voice.

My aunt's eyes lit up, "Oh, why yes I do!" She exclaimed with enthused spirit, "In fact, I've completed a collection recently. I've been studying the history and art of the Quileute tribe - "

"We're Quileute!" I heard the outcry from behind me. I turned, just in time to see a young boy smiling widely, pointing to his chest. He had to still be in high school.

"Seth, man!" A young man next to him knocked his palm against his head, causing the exuberant teen to rub his head with a perplexed pout.

"Paul, please." The older gentleman pleaded, shaking his head in disapproval. I watched as the young man named Paul shrugged and turned away to one of my aunt's displays. Clearly the older man had a reign on his group. A older brother perhaps?

"Hey, Jake!" Seth was once again using his outside voice, "Look at this ring! It has a wolf on it! A wolf!" He cackled, pointing at the display under the glass counter.

"That's cool, Seth." An alluring voice I hadn't heard yet spoke up. I turned to the last of the quartet and choked on a breath. He stood an inch taller than me, toned, russet skin like his companions, but theirs didn't glow under the haze of dim light. His brown eyes, rounded and soft as he stared off deep in thought, a frown etched on his face. His full lips puckered before his teeth latched on to the bottom one as he chewed, absently staring at the turquoise jewelry Esme was showing the older gentleman.

"Whoa, Sam!" Seth had somehow crossed the store over to Esme and her customer, "Emily would love that!" His eyes, brown, like the boy that captured my attention, was trained on the necklace my aunt held up, an oval turquoise stone settled in the middle, the impression of a tribal design on it.

"Damn, did you make that?" Paul crossed the space as well, pointing at the necklace, his eyes widened in awe.

Esme gave a bashful smile, "The tribal designs are wonderful. I had so much fun researching and creating. This one was my first." She said proudly to the listeners.

"Get _that_ for her, dude." Paul said to Sam, "Get it."

"Yeah!" Seth exclaimed.

My eyes were back on the excluded boy. He held mild interest. His eyes were wondering over other objects in the store. My heart, suddenly hammered in my chest as I considered talking to him. His eyes, they were hallowed by something and I was determined to find out. I wanted to know what he was _thinking_.

I gave myself no time to reconsider. I walked over to him, catching his eyes just as they locked with mine and it took all I had to compress the shudder I felt. A surge of energy ran through me like a wave of heat, sizzling my skin to life. Was it him that did that?

"Are you looking for anything?" I asked.

He stared at me, a dazed look on his face as if something had distracted him. He blinked, once, then twice and finally shook his head. He was beautiful even when he was overcome with thoughts. I felt myself chuckle as he composed himself, "I'm sorry, what?" He asked finally. His voice; a flame, my will; a moth,. He was dragging me in, under its spell and there wasn't much I could do to help it.

"Are you looking for anything?" I repeated. It took a second for the question to register.

"Oh, umm, no, I'm not." He shrugged, jerking a finger in the direction of his accomplices, "I'm just here to keep them company. It's my brother's anniversary next week. He's getting his wife a gift." He added with no affection behind his tone.

"Are they all your brothers?" I asked, gesturing towards the group.

"No." He shook his head, "No, umm, Seth is a family friend and Paul is the brother of -" He seemed to choke on his voice then and to my surprise, his eyes glistened before he blinked back tears and looked away. Something stung him deep. I wanted to know, but my priority was to prevent those tears in any way from flowing.

"Hey," I said gently, getting his attention. I couldn't help resting a hand on his toned bicep, "You alright, love?" And like that, 2 things happened simultaneously. Our touch sent another wave of heat and energy through my system. My heart stuttered in its attempts to take the over stimulating sensation. His eyes widened and his lips parted as our gazes locked again. An odd noise left his lips as he lifted a hand to touch where my hand was.

There was a mild panic attack occurring in me. I had never used such an affectionate term on anyone. What brought me to say this to him? And his hand on mine... It felt as if life was being willed into me; new life, his life.

"I'm fine." He seemed to pant.

"Yo, Jake!" Both of our hands dropped like dead weights at our side, "We're going to head to the food court. You coming or what?" Paul asked, a frown forming on his face as he looked between us. I had forgotten where we were and who he was with.

It seemed everyone was waiting for his answer, eyes trying to figure out what just happened between us. They weren't alone.

"Uh, yeah," Jake stammered, "Sure." And he turned to me almost instantly, eyes asking if that was okay. I didn't understand why, but I nodded shortly, reading whatever else I could on his face.

Esme had already rung up Sam and wrapped and bagged his present before sending him off with a wave and a call to come back to check our her new Quileute collection in April. The man before me seemed to melt away as he joined the departing trio. I watched after him, a hole seizing from my chest that I had just realized he fit so comfortably in.

**xXx**

My attempts were futile. I checked up on managers, called in a few companies, preparing Grand Openings and closing off some deals for the last few hours, but my mind was trained on him. I had kept an eye on him through the monitors in the office, noting that he went into the Cineplex entrance adjacent to the Galleria at 12:40. He'd be out in the next 90 minutes and I wanted to be there to catch him.

Esme had witnessed the exchange, but didn't say much, although I could make out the smug smirk on her face when I announced that I suddenly had some last minute business to take care of.

I lied.

All that I had to do, it could have been done at the end of the week. This only meant I had more time on my hands, but that, I could worry about later.

At 2:00, I was walking in the direction of the Cineplex, hands clenching and unclenching at my side. I had never experienced this compulsion before. There was no thought, but to find him, to touch him. I couldn't understand why. There had been men before, of course and I was sure that I was in love once, but ... I never felt this, whatever it was.

I waited only a few minutes as all four stepped out, heading in the direction of the elevators that led to the parking garage. I watched from a distance, holding myself back, trying to see reason, but I was lost in him. The way he gracefully moved, how his full lips curled when he smiled at the antics the youngest of the four made. How his eyes searched through the crowds, looking for _something_ when he was sure no one was paying attention. I wanted him.

I stalked in his direction, sure I was going to regret this later, but not caring.

He didn't see me, until I was close enough to touch him. I could see his body jump slightly when he noticed me, but he didn't vocalize his surprise.

"I'm sorry to catch you like this." I apologized, "But I - " There was no easy way of saying this, "When can I see you again?" I could hear Seth exclaim that I was the guy from the jewelry store and I noted how Sam, Jake's older brother, took a step forward as if fending off a threat, but hesitated when the man before me answered.

"You _are_ seeing me again right now." He said in a dry tone, but it was clear to me that he was joking. His expression changed slightly as he read the look on my face. I _needed_ to see him again, "When do you want to see me?"

I didn't have to think on the words, "Tonight."

He considered my words and thought for awhile, "When do you get off - uh, I mean, do you even work here?"

"I do." There was no time to tell him that I _owned_ the very Galleria we were standing in, "And I have my own schedule."

"I live at the dorms at UW," It took awhile to process that. He was a _college_ student. Significantly younger than me, "I can be back here by 8 when everyone's going back home." He looked over his shoulder at his waiting company. Sam gave me a hard glare as Paul on his left smirked knowingly at Jacob. I knew I was being forward, but what if this was the only chance I had to see him again?

"I'll be waiting right here." I promised.

"I hope you move." He joked lightly, but his eyes held an intensity that I couldn't pull away from.

"I will when I see you again."

"I'll be here," He affirmed, "I don't know your name."

"Edward."

"Edward." My name sounded like a dream on his tongue, "I'm Jacob."

_Jacob._

_Now_

"Jacob." I could never tire of that name. My voice arouses movement, and other things as well.

"Mmm," He stretches out his arms, resting them on my waist. We are now holding each other in a loose embrace as he comes to, "Baby?"

"I'm right here, love."

He burrows his head against my chest, taking in deep breaths, "Mornin'," He's able to get out before he yawns.

"Happy anniversary." I say into his skin, enjoying the way he squirms, pressing himself into me.

"Happy anniversary, indeed." He cackles and I look down to see why. I'd become hard without even thinking about it. But he always has that affect. The day we met, I couldn't help myself.

_3 Years, 4 Months Ago_

He was trembling. That much I could make out through the screams and whimpers. I was lost to insanity. Every moment our bodies fully interlocked, I'd feel it - the earth moving, the sky falling, the sun burning. The whole damn galaxy _made_ for us. I couldn't put a finger on just why it was like this in a matter of 10 hours of knowing him.

We met where we said we would. I took him out to dinner and I couldn't bring myself to let him go after. I had to bring him home.

But there was no tour, just the road to my bed, where I undressed him and bathed in his entire essence.

He kicked and screamed, but not in protest as I originally feared, but in sheer, lost bliss. I held his hands above his head, hoping to ease some of the chaos. I wanted to see his face, witness everything I did to him.

"Fuck," He had managed out more than once between screams. The word was raw and hoarse, and meant so much more than an exclamation.

His thighs trembled around my hips, unable to hold me in place as he had in the beginning. They were slick with perspiration, russet skin shimmering in moon glow from the open patio door. I wanted the whole neighborhood to hear him.

My hips pulled back and he started again, hyper-ventilating, expecting the feeling. We had been through this before, for the entire hour I was in him and it never failed. That _feeling_. More than pleasure, more than comfort. We were a part of each other.

"No, No, God..." He went on, but I couldn't hold back.

I entered him fully, grinding my hips up, lifting his bottom half off the bed. I got a thrillingly pleasant holler this time.

"EDWARD!"

My name on his lips...

I saw stars when I came in him.

_Now_

I can't suppress the grunt and he pulls back, a dazzling smile on his face, "What are you thinking?"

"The first night I had you in my bed." I admit without shame. He looks as if he is biting back a moan as his brown eyes suddenly darken with lust.

"You were quite the screamer." I tease, kissing the tip of his nose and getting a scoff.

"What are you talking about?" He shakes his head, "I _still_ scream."

"You do, my love." I agree, caressing the curve of his jaw, "But that night...it was different."

He presses his lips to mine and I can feel the lingering emotions from the night on his tongue, "You were in me for the first time. It changed my world." He whispers sweetly. As much as he is affectionate, he rarely ever lets me see this side of him.

But it is our anniversary.

"What do you say to breakfast?" He asks, already getting out of bed, "Sliced strawberries and French toast?" He suggests, bypassing the dresser and walking out of the room. He doesn't bother with clothes and he's right not to.

"You? Cooking me breakfast?" I tease, "Has the world been knocked off its axis?" I follow him down the long hallway that opens up to the wide space of the living room and kitchen entrance.

"Maybe if you fuck me hard enough, we might knock it back in place." He says without missing a beat. I know its his way of treating me. Jacob's attention to the kitchen is little at best, yet he moves expertly in the big space as if it is a daily routine, humming to himself. I watch in awe, as my husband contently struts around, milk carton in one hand and carton of eggs in the other. I've loved this man for more than three years. I would even say it was love at first sight. I never thought I'd be blessed enough to see this day, not when there were so many obstacles between us.

Leaning against the counter, I recall some of our hardest times, but the one I linger on is our first fight.

_3 Years Ago_

He had been silent all night.

I chalked it up to his deadline of work for his classes. He was a Sophomore still in the hang of balancing life and school on his own time, yet the last months with me had him off his mark and we actually had to keep some distance between us so he could work on his course assignments. I selfishly knew I robbed most of his time, but any moment spent without him was torture. He was never at his dorms. I drove him to and from school and home to his family when he requested to stop by and visit. I held him to me as if on a leash but I was at his every whim. It befuddled everyone he knew, including his older brother Sam who believed I had him under some spell. In fact, it was quite the opposite. I was a slave to Jacob Black.

The last few days without him was hard to get through. He called every few hours, but it wasn't enough. I wanted to feel him next to me, even if it was just him hunched over a book. But we both knew that there was no chance we could be productive in each other's company.

He spent a lot of his time at the college library. I'd pick him up for dinner than drop him back at the dorms. It was not a routine I liked. While waiting that particular Friday, I was surprised to see a familiar face on campus.

It was an ex from a few years back. We hadn't spoken much after our break-up, but we were still on good terms and like usual, we fell in casual conversation, something that never died down unlike our sexual desire for the other. He happened to be on campus for the same reason as Jacob, to utilize the library. He preferred its comfortable company than that of the city library and was checking in to do some research for work. We were just giving our goodbye's when Jacob exited the library, a sullen look on his face.

"I'm not so hungry tonight, love." My hand felt oddly cold without his over it. It had become a natural habit for him to cover my hand with his, because he enjoyed the feeling of me switching gears, "I had a late lunch at the deli with Esme and I'm afraid to say that I'm still a bit full."

"Fine." He snapped, "Take me home."

It took awhile for me to digest his tone. He was never like this with me, even when he was upset about something. Could it be that I made him angry? "Is there something wrong?" I asked, completely thrown off when he responded with a dark laugh.

"Fantastic." He chuckled, "Well it is for you at least, so what does it matter?"

"Love, I don't understand." A panic arose in me. I couldn't stand seeing him this way, "Did I do something wrong?"

"No," He sang out, sarcastically, "You're fine. You're perfect. You have better things to do than eat dinner with your boyfriend."

"I do not." I disagreed, "I want to spend time with you. I miss you." At that he shook his head and laughed. It hurt to see disbelief. He didn't believe me?

"Are you going to miss me tonight when you're fucking that guy?"

"What?" I gave him a bewildered look, "_Who?_"

"That guy outside the library!" He pointed behind him, towards the campus which was already streets away, "Or is it someone new tonight? Like it has been ever other night these last few weeks?"

"Jacob," I said calmly, not understanding his reasonings, "You're being illogical."

"Right." He nodded arms over his chest, "I'm _crazy_."

"I never said-"

"Drive me to the dorms."

"I much rather we talk about this, love."

"You '_much rather'_?" He sneered, "What are we, on your time now?" He shook his head, keeping his eyes trained on the window, before he uttered the words that broke something in me, "Sam was right about you."

I couldn't talk. I couldn't ask what his older brother may have said. What could have had him so enraged at me. I would never in my lifetime even _consider_ to cheat and lie to Jacob. I didn't believe in it fundamentally and he was something too important to me to even entertain the thought.

But he trusted his brother more than me.

I dropped him off back on campus without a kiss goodbye or a farewell. I was scared for my life. What just happened? What had I done wrong? What was Sam right about?

Two days passed and there wasn't a word from him.

I was on my wit's end, but I wanted him to come to me on his own terms. But the fear sunk in. What if he made up his mind and left? What if he was misinformed? It ate at me for 48 hours. By the evening of the second day, I grabbed my pea cot and was off to meeting him in front of the library where I knew he'd be.

He saw me, but said nothing.

"I've tried to wait. I really want to." I pleaded, "But another day without you Jacob and I'll go insane."

"You seemed fine before."

"Let me drive you home." I requested, hoping he'd at least give me that. I needed to be in close company with him, if only for a moment. He stood before me, arms crossed, his leg shaking as he seemed to think over my words. There wasn't much else I could do. I didn't want to force anymore contact with him no matter how much I felt I needed it.

"Fine. Whatever." He grumbled out and followed me to my car. I only had to drive him across campus. If I was lucky, our drive would be 2 minutes.

He was deathly silent, keeping his eyes trained outside. I had so little time to speak. "Can I fix this?"

He gave a heavy, dreadful sigh, "I don't think we should do _this_ anymore."

I couldn't help my reaction. I pulled off to the side of the narrow street, braking harshly, "What?" I'd beg if I had to. I'd do anything to change his mind, "Jacob, please tell me what I can do to fix this."

"I know I'm not enough for you," He nodded, still not meeting my eyes, "You're doing the exact same thing. First it's playing guilty for robbing my time from school, then it's the disappearances and then I see him."

"Are you speaking of the man I was talking to?" I asked, piecing together the jealous rage. He was confusing this with something in the past, "He was an ex of mine, but nothing more. I would _never_ do anything like that to you."

He was silent for a minute, "Your ex?" He finally asked.

"It was an absurd place to see him, but I can't lie about who he is to you. I hope you're not angry." I feared that perhaps I dug a deeper grave for myself.

When he spoke again, it wasn't to ask me about my ex, but to explain himself. He told me of his ex Jared, a man that he met his Freshman year in high school with whom he became involved with. He was the man he came out to his family with, the man that demanded his time and affections. Jacob explained that he was warned by Sam the first time he introduced his boyfriend to his family. Years passed, they entered college and Jared became distant, suggesting Jacob focus on his studies, because much of their time was spent with the other. Jacob listened, assuming his lover was looking out for him, but he soon caught him with strange men, on campus, at his work and finally in their shared apartment.

I hadn't realized I was holding him until his fingers closed around my back, "I thought I was over him." He sounded so weak, so defeated, "A year passed and I convinced myself I was alright, but then I see him in your Galleria that day, another man under his arm and..." He sniffled against my neck, "Paul hadn't told me because he was afraid of how I'd react. He's his brother after all..."

"Jared is Paul's brother...?" I belted out, although he had already informed me so and if I would have been wise enough, I would have knew beforehand.

_ "...and Paul is the brother of -"_

He told me the day he met me. That same day he saw his ex-lover.

"Do you believe me when I say I couldn't do such a thing to you?" He sniffled again, nodding into my shoulder, "Why?"

"He never told me about his ex. That was the first guy I found him with. He kept it secret. Paul admitted it to me only after we broke up. He said that Jared knew I'd let it go if I thought them to be strangers, men he barely knew. If I knew that guy to be his ex, someone he loved, I would have left."

I pulled back, containing the fury and pain I held in honor of him. I never wanted to see him cry again, "Please, baby, don't cry." I pleaded, stroking the tear trail with the pad of my thumb.

"It still hurts." And it hurt me more. He needed to understand his worth.

"He was a fool not to cherish you, Jacob," I said with malice I couldn't hide. I hated the man that did this to him, "But I promise that for as long as my heart beats, I'll always find a way to express my joy of having you in my life. I love you."

_Now_

I sit and flash back to that night, his apologies echoing in my head. I couldn't allow it. I eased as much as I could and took him as I had the violent need to. Our sex hadn't been so...rough before. No care to precaution, to preparation. It was desperate.

"Babe," His voice rumbles, stirring me from my daydream, "Where were you just now?"

I smile, basking in him standing before me, a plate in hand. He cooked the French toast and had sliced the fruits already, presenting me now with the results. He places the plate on the counter, watching me with concern.

"Remember our first fight?" I ask, not surprised to see him frown and cock his head at me.

"Are you reliving our firsts?" A smile cracks his lips, "Our first day seeing each other, our first time, our first...anniversary?" He adds with a cackle.

"First of many." I say with conviction and it startles him only for a moment. He still occasionally forgets his worth to me. He pours me a glass of milk and we both sit at the marble counter, ready to start our day together. But something strikes me that moment.

"Love?"

"Hmm?" He responds around his fork.

"What was Sam right about?" I ask, frowning at the thought. Sam had been civil with me the last two years, but I could still see the distrust in his eyes. He knew his brother was happy, yet even to this day, he regards me with reservation.

Jacob swallows part of his meal, licking syrup from his lip. I smile, catching the drop he's missed, bringing it to my lips, "He said I was too wound up in you to see what you really are." He answers in a guilty voice, "And he was right, baby." Could my world end here? Seeing the look on my face, he panics and quickly continues, "I didn't see the love, Edward. I seriously believed you could do that to me. I couldn't see who you were clear enough because I was too wound up in you, for the wrong reasons." He leans over, pressing his lips to me, asking for me to understand, to forgive him. How could I, when there was nothing that needs forgiving? He was hurt before and time could only heal his past; time and the will to move on. And he had. To my arms.

"I love you." He says against my skin and even to this day, I sigh. I won't tire from it. He reaches a hand up to rake my hair away from my eyes and I catch the glimmer from the wedding band on his finger. My heart races in my chest and I have to blink my eyes. He's _still_ here, he's a part of me now, a part of my future. And I can't understand just why after all I had put him through.

_1 Year, 6 months Ago_

"You know, it makes absolutely _no_ sense that you'd close down an entire Galleria just to shop with me." He shook his head in disbelief, "I'm not people phobic, babe."

I shrugged and played off nonchalance, "I just wanted you to myself."

"I'm always with you. What would make you worry?" His eyebrows shot up as something struck him, "Afraid some hot Italian man with a thicker cock is going to whisk me away?" He asked, cocking his head as if considering the thought, "Okay, now I'm seeing your point." He teased.

"I'd fight tooth and nail." I growled, grabbing him around his narrow waist to bring him to me. His laughter rang out in the empty building. The only other noise was the churning water from the fountain in the sitting court and the carnival theme from the carousel in the belly of the mall.

"Okay, ginger." He joked, knowing the name didn't sit well with me. It had stuck with him ever since he met my younger cousin Emmett, noticing the affect it had when he used that name.

"Whatever you say, Chief." I threw back, hearing an annoyed groan from him.

"Shut up." Pushing away from me, he walked ahead, attempting to ignore my presence. I only responded by pulling up behind him, wrapping my arm around his waist again before burrowing my nose in his neck, getting a giggle.

"Sorry, my love." I apologized, "I know how much that makes you angry."

"Not really." He shrugged, "I just hate being reminded of something I _should_ be doing and I'm not." He had duties back at home, on the Reservation, but chose to leave, unable to stomach half of everyone's reaction to his coming out. No matter where we were in this world, there would always be those that hated that part of us and no matter what his responsibilities were, he didn't feel he owed them anything after what they had put him and his boyfriend through their first years in High School, "Sam can have it. I don't see why they make it a point to force the title on me."

"You're a wonderful, strong man. They can see it. Anyone can, who isn't deaf, blind or dumb." We continued to walk the empty halls, in the direction I wanted to go, him in my arms.

"You need to stop saying things like that. I just might get spoiled." He actually sounded serious.

"Well, maybe I'd consider spanking if you become a brat." I patted his ass, getting a pleasant response, "But I'm serious, love. You're integral there. If you ever wanted to go back, I wouldn't stop you." I wanted him happy after all.

"I don't." He said heatedly.

"It's home. Your father is there, your brother."

"I know. And I visit and everything..." His voice trailed off, "Edward, I only feel at home with you."

I inhaled his scent, loving just how he lifted his hand, grabbing my hair to bring me closer to him. I was his home. It only confirmed why we were here, "This way, love." I guided him to Esme's jewelry store. As I requested, she wasn't present, but everything I wanted was there.

"So we're starting with jewelry?" Jacob asked, amusement evident in his tone, "Richie Rich, I don't plan on being your hussy, glittering in diamonds and studs."

"Whatever you want, I'll give you." I kissed his cheek, "And if you want that..." I left the rest up to him.

He scoffed, "Yeah, no thanks." But he was already walking to the counters, checking out the jewelry Esme had so successfully designed and some she worked on herself.

"These necklaces are just like the ones made at home." He pointed to Esme's new Quileute collection. What he didn't know was the profits from the sells went to his home. It paid for the refurbishment of his old High School and paid for his father's new, re-modeled house. It was my present to his home for raising and creating such a beautiful person.

"Whatever you want, sweetie." I confirmed. This was his moment. Under the guise of paying for a shopping spree for his birthday - something that he'd be more willing to go along with - I specifically had him here for another purpose.

"Sure, sure." He didn't turn away from the jewelry. There was something he wanted. After a few minutes of watching him decide what and what not to go with, he settled on the necklace he spotted, a flat, almost black stone held between the soft fabrics that tied loosely at the ends.

I gestured him in my direction, "May I suggest something?"

He watched me with careful eyes, "Nothing expensive, Edward." He warned.

"I promise." He walked over, necklace in hand, before placing it on the counter, right next to the velvet box, opened and exposing a simple platinum ring.

"It's nice." He noted, fingers running along the cool metal, "Why is it in that case though?" He lifted, questioning eyes to meet mine.

"I thought it'd look perfect like this." I smiled, feeling bashful for the confession that was going to come out of my mouth, "More traditional."

"Traditional?" His brows pulled together. Then, as if a light switched on, he gasped, "Edward?"

I picked up the box, rubbing my fingers along the soft surface, taking in every ounce of this moment. I bent one knee, lowering my weight until it rested on the other. I held the box in my hand, cradling it as if it were a fragile child, "Jacob, your home is with me as well, but I'm not sure I could express it in any other way but this." I could see his hands tremble at his sides, "You're everything I want in a man and even more, everything I want to be. In these last two years, I haven't been happier, more alive. We share a home now, we share memories and that is enough, but," I chuckled at my antics, "to seal our love, our devotion to each other, it would make me the happiest man alive."

"Oh my God," He managed out, hands now raking through his growing locks.

"Jacob Black, will you marry me?"

_1 Year, 5 months Ago_

"I still can't figure this whole thing out." He ran his hands over the papers on the desk. La Push, Seattle, Hawaii, Canada and even Paris was offered for our ceremony. Wherever he wanted to go, we could have it, "You know if I were a woman, this would be much simpler."

"It can be, love." I offered, "We can have it right here at home."

He bit his full lips, rolling against me on the bed, "I don't know. Something just doesn't _feel_ right."

"Like what?"

He thought for a second, before turning to me, "Where do _you_ want to get married?" He asked, surprising me.

"Wherever you'll be happiest."

He smirked knowingly, "I'd be happiest where you're most comfortable."

"I'd be most comfortable where you're happiest." I said back, adoring the way his eyes narrowed.

"Don't be a cock," He growled, "Tell me at least where you had ideas to get married _before_ you even met me."

That was easy, "Ireland."

He frowned only for a second, before speaking up, "Where your parents met?" He asked. But it was more than just where they met. It was part of who I was, where my history resided. Esme and my father knew little about where their parents came from, due to their early deaths when my father was in college and Esme was still 10. They had no time to explore home with their parents. All that was left were stories and memories, none Esme could remember thoroughly. She understood what it was like to lose parents at a young age, and reliving the moment with my brother only hit closer to home.

I had no grandparents, since my father's side was gone and my mother's side were somewhere lost in the hills and green land of her home - where I dreamed to go back to.

"We can have a ceremony, rent out an old place that looks over the sea," Jacob spoke up, "And after, get wasted at a pub." He threw in.

"Love, this is your day."

"No." He shook his head, "It's _our_ day. If you want Ireland, you'll get it, Edward. Everything has always been about me. You've met my family, you've attended our tribe meetings when no outsiders were allowed. You've learned everything there is to know about our culture and can even put your own aunt to shame." He smiled warmly, "Babe, it's only fair that I get to know who _you_ are."

"But I don't even know."

"Well, don't you think this is a perfect opportunity for us to get to know you together?" He offered lightly.

I never thought it was possible to love him more.

**xXx**

He was dedicated to making plans, whereas before he hadn't shown interest. I wanted to know what created this change, since now I couldn't feel the desire to even think about our wedding day. The idea of going to Ireland...as much as I wanted it, I wasn't sure I was ready.

That's where Edward Masen Sr. met Elizabeth Bell, a local in Galway, where he was visiting. They fell in love instantly. My father even stayed, taking a year off from the business, before marrying her right in her home.

I was born two years later in Chicago, Illinois, half a world away from my mother's home.

Could I go back there?

Nights went by and it continued to eat at me. Touching him was a reminder, watching him move around me almost in a ballet, in complete rhythm to me _hurt _and I couldn't understand why.

Then the night I watched Jacob get ready for a quiet evening with his father and brother, I realized what it was. I lacked that love, the love he knew so well - the love of a family. He was at peace with who he was and I wasn't. I had took over the business, put my entire life into it, always glossing over my own gratification, but Jacob changed everything.

He made me see just how inadequate I was.

I envied him and yet, I feared him. He had too much power over me.

The weeks following were painful. I became engrossed in work, barely spoke a word to him and eventually it affected our intimate moments. Holding him put my fears at ease, no matter what they were and I began to miss it now that he had grown accustomed to turning away from me in bed.

When we spoke, I was short, when we sat in a room, I was tense and I just couldn't bring myself to tell him why. I couldn't say that going home was facing the biggest fear I had next to losing him. I couldn't say that I was afraid of what my parents would think if they saw me now, if they watched their only son step foot on their homeland with a man to wed. I didn't want to admit to Jacob that my life had been one goal after the other, my days calculated, my hours, orchestrated.

He was the only spontaneous thing in my life.

And it scared the hell out of me.

I entertained the thought of the cause being our age difference, but rejected the idea not a second after. This was how I was throughout my life. Whether Jacob was closer in age or not, he was unique in who he was, as was I. It had little to do with age. Then there was the earth shattering consideration of lack of compatibility. Jacob, although easy to act on his feelings, was in nature, comfortable with who he was and had little to hide from anyone. I had always considered myself more reserved and shamelessly ruthless in getting what I desired, Jacob included.

It tore at me day in and day out as the date grew closer. We had 3 months, time was closing in and the final touches were being readjusted and assembled. I had never seen my aunt and Jacob talk so much in my life. On any other perfect day with him, my heart would have warmed at the sight, but seeing them situated over the dining room table, papers and pamphlets amongst them made my insides crawl.

I knew I couldn't do this.

I came home later than I should have. He was home, eyes tired and arms crossed over his chest standing not a yard away from the door. He had been waiting for me.

"I called." He said flatly. It wasn't a new tone. He had been this way for the last week, avoiding conversation, keeping to himself.

"I'm sorry. I hadn't checked it all evening." I stepped into front room, feeling the heaviness of just how empty it was with without him greeting me with open arms.

"I thought you'd be too tired for stopping somewhere for dinner, so I made..." He shrugged, but didn't finish, "It got cold."

"I'm sorry." Even to me, the words sounded so insincere.

"You don't sound like it."

I knew he hated this aspect of me. The way I cut myself off, 'stoning my face' as he once described. I couldn't help it as it was part of my everyday routine in dealing with people and situations I wasn't always immediately willing to handle. I was taking this part of me home to him more often than I wanted.

"What do you want me to say?" A part of me was asking in exasperation, as the other was honestly curious as to what would be _right_ for him. I was tired, scared and unsure about so many things, but I knew a smile on his face, a light jest or even a chaste kiss would hold me if just for that moment with him.

"Please, baby, just tell me what's going on," He ran a finger through his short locks. Jacob knew distance and rarely ever pushed. It was a rarity and it hurt me to see that he needed to then. It hurt even more knowing that he couldn't read me as good as I could read him. He didn't have the fortune of having a lover who talked in his sleep and he was rather unlucky to be with a man who closed himself off at the first opportune moment of failing.

"It's been busy at the Galleria." I had used this excuse before, but judging by the way his eyes narrowed, he wasn't going to buy it this time.

"Bullshit!" He seemed to blurt out, "Esme says everything is fine. There's no reason for you to fucking stay there so late."

"Jacob, I have responsibilities she does not have."

He nodded, the edge of sarcasm on his tongue, "Right, Directing a Gallery is a lot of work when you can easily appoint a handful of assistance."

"Jacob-"

"Ever since we began planning our union ceremony, you've seem to have lost it." I under estimated him and it made me enraged with myself to assume that I could get this by him. I've never known him to be foolish or unaware of what went on around him, "Are we doing this too fast?"

"Jacob, I-" I licked my lips in hesitation, before nervously combing my hair down with rigid, grip sore fingers. I couldn't finish.

The venom in his eyes didn't sink in as deeply as the pain. I saw it all there. He thought I was regretting _him_. Never in my life, would I do such a thing. "Then why would you propose?"

"Because I love you."

"You love me?" He asked, clearly not understanding what I said. It was cryptic words to him, just as my actions were for the last few weeks, "You love me and you propose and you regret it?"

"It has nothing to do with you."

"Then why are you treating me like shit?" He shouted, "Why do you look at me like - like you resent me?"

My answer was pathetically small, "I don't."

"Don't say you don't. I see it. Every fucking day, it's as if I'm watching you slowly die. Why would you propose to me, put me out of my element, make me _feel_ so fucking special only to show me what it really does for you?"

Closing the small distance between us, I leaned in, gripping his shoulders in my hands. I couldn't gauge whether or not I was holding him too hard, my mind was already whirring with anger and regret, "Don't say that," I emphasized with a jerk of my arms, "Do you know the power you have over me? What loving you does to me?"

"It's supposed to make you feel good."

"You're not getting it, Jacob."

His features were distorted, fury curling and licking in his brown eyes, "What am I not getting?"

I felt the way it pressed at the edges of my throat, the words fighting to be heard. I let them out, "That I can't be what you need me to be, I can't do this! Not in Ireland, not in Hawaii or Paris. I'm not you, I don't have the luxury of being _happy_ with who I am!"

He searched my face, perhaps trying to understand what I was telling him, over me canceling the wedding. He seemed to settle on one track alone, "You are already what I need." I couldn't understand it. How could he stand before me, look at me and be completely sure? It moved me and it made me furious as well. How could this be so easy for him?

"Is this what you need?" I gestured to the space around us, "A house, a space where you can wait for me like the good wife, food on the table? Do you need me for that? Do you need me to support you, take care of your family, keep you stable enough for school until you start your career?" I scowled.

"You think I care about this?" He was defensive, "You think because of where I come from, that I'd actually stay with you because of your success, Edward?"

"Well, what else is there to me?" I countered, "I have nothing else. There is nothing to me. No parents or perfect childhood memories that we can share."

His face softened as he put a reign on his anger, "It's the anniversary of their death this month, isn't it?" He asked, a knowing look on his face.

"This isn't about them." I lied.

"Isn't it?" He was so much better at figuring me out than I thought, "Baby, let them go."

The words stung me, scorched my insides like a hot iron, "I can't do this with you right now."

He was silent for a moment, stepping out of my harsh embrace, "Then maybe we shouldn't do it at all." I didn't answer, I couldn't, "Maybe you really love me. Every fucking inch of me feels it and I hope that I'm right, but even if you do, Edward, you clearly don't love me enough." His beautiful eyes, shimmered and glossed over and I hated myself. My words, so easily capable of flowing out before, caught in my throat. He was everything to me, I knew this for a fact, why couldn't I say it then, why couldn't I speak? "Shit, it hurts saying this." He set his jaw, holding back tears. He lifted his hand, fingers closing around the engagement ring before tugging it completely off. I'd never felt the sensation of my heart breaking, but I knew it the moment the ache took over. He held the ring out to me, streaks of tears already caressing his cheeks, "I'm sorry, Edward."

It was over.

It was over.

_Now_

I don't realize that the tears mirroring his 16 months ago, grace my face as well.

"Babe?" His thumbs are tracing the trail, his lips following after.

"You don't know how perfect you are." I whisper into the crook of his neck.

"What makes you say that?" He cups my cheek, his confusion still evident, "Such a compliment deserves an explanation."

"It's an everyday deal." I reply, still feeling the echo of my heart breaking a year ago. What he did, wasn't out of his anger with me, rather for me to make my peace on my own before moving on with my life. I had been mourning my parents since my childhood and while it didn't keep me from living my day-to-day life, it did rob me of the being completely happy with Jacob. Holding him in my arms, feeling his comfort, I play back just what those first two years were like with him. It was a quite a new experience for me, being happier than I ever was. We had a way of functioning together without effort even despite our constant contrasts. He grew to be the outgoing, passionate interacter, while I played to keeping more to myself. My most treasured moments with him are small, mundane parts of the day where any onlooker would see two men eating dinner or waking in the morning. It was our most intimate times together, other than sex or holding him as he slept.

That was what I missed the most when he left; stolen moments where we are brushing our teeth, cooking dinner or just watching a movie randomly on T.V, when I can just look at him and know I was at peace.

"I feel the same way about you." He replies, he kisses just under my eyes, "But babe, I know that's not why you're upset like this. Was breakfast that bad?" He jokes lightly. He doesn't spend much time in the kitchen, but as far as I can tell, the breakfast is a masterpiece, but sadly, I am biased when it comes to anything in relation to him.

I inhale deeply, trying to will some sense into myself. It's our anniversary morning and I'm thinking about the most miserable part of my life, "It's really hard getting over what I did to you only just a year ago." He gives me a knowing smile, before pecking my lips.

"It couldn't have been a more perfect time." He replies, his thumb stroking my cheek.

I groan, knowing exactly what he is going to say. Ironically enough, it is me that won't allow the both of us to forget the worst 2 weeks of our relationship. It is him that said not a week after getting back together that time worked in our favor, just as he is telling me now. Perhaps it is my pessimism, but hurting your fiancé a mere 5 months before a wedding doesn't fit in a perfect time slot for me.

"Grumbling isn't very becoming of a gentleman, babe," He uses his usual coy grin to loosen me up, "You know I'm right. You can't tell me that after what happened, you would have did what you did, " Brushing his lips along mine seductively, he whispers, "It's the reason why we're here today, right?"

_1 Year, 4 Months Ago_

It didn't take long for Esme to show up on my doorstep, worry so clear on her soft featured face.

She spoke to Jacob.

"Edward Anthony Masen," There was no tinkling lightness to her voice, only reserved anger. I knew Esme. She wanted to make sure she got her information right. But I wasn't sure if I had it accurate myself. He had left me in the front room two nights before, and I hadn't moved since. Not to eat, not to run to the bathroom to use the facilities, or to bed to sleep. I made due on the couch, sleeping for only an hour at most each time, unable to muffle the roaring ache in my body for even a night. He left me there, cheeks flushed from crying with a duffle bag. He didn't call or come back, but I waited, waited for him to forgive me, waited for him to hold me and make things right, waited for him to secure the metal band on his finger which now occupied the space on the end table, along with his house keys.

My eyes lingered on that spot for hours, a blurry reminder of what left me behind.

He left.

I wasn't sure I was capable of speaking without the twisted agonizing sobs coming out first, so I remained silent.

"Edward," She spoke softly now, before stepping into the house, "Jacob showed up on our doorstep two nights ago. He looked...I don't think they are words for it," She took a seat on what had been my temporary bed the last two days, "It took him until yesterday morning before he could actually speak." At this, her eyes lifted to meet mine, "He said he called the wedding off because you weren't ready."

The aching muscle in my chest contracted in pain as I pictured him on Esme and Carlisle's patio, the duffle bag over his shoulder, looking alone and upset. He cried for an entire day? My body gave out on the arm chair across from her as I settled my face in my hands, finally able to share the pain I had been holding back for weeks.

It was a wail in my chest, forced out, echoing back at me in the open room. I felt her warmth instantly, bringing me into a motherly hug as I worked through the most agonizing loss I've ever had. This was nothing like losing my mother and father, two people I was only beginning to know and understand their importance in my life. This was...Jacob. My air, my source of life and I watched, literally _watched_ him walk out of our home without a struggle.

All of this because I was scared of building a stable future while lacking a fulfilled past.

All this because he was too good for me.

"He's gone." I choked out, as if it really hit me then, "He's gone and it was me that pushed him away."

Esme scoffed affectionately, "Hardly, honey." She sighed, "He loves you so much. He just wants this to be what you want."

"What I want?" I asked in bewilderment, "How can he believe that? He's all I ever wanted!"

She looked me over, a look of pain in her eyes, "That's not true, love." She corrected, "You want a goodbye." She sat back on the couch, holding her purse in her lap, "Jacob told me what he believed to be the reason you...changed your mind."

"I just wanted him happy," I felt like a child, rethinking my actions and realizing the mistake, "I can't make him happy if-"

"If you're not?" She finished, "I haven't seen you more happy, Edward. He changed you."

"He did."

"Then why can't you let this go?"

In frustration, I tugged the roots of my hair, trying to place the words in order in my mind. This would sound insane to her, "Mom and dad died long before I realized who I was ever attracted to," I shyly lifted my eyes to meet hers, only to see the understanding on her face, "I took care of this business to show my allegiance to this family in the only way I could. I wanted to make them proud, to make up for being this way."

"Gay?"

It sounded absolutely ridiculous and trivial to Jacob's reason of leaving, but it was the root of my fear.

"If they were alive, Edward, they would be very proud of you." She pressed, "I don't understand why you would believe being gay would have anything to do with that? Are _you_ not secure in what you are?"

I was out to the public. I didn't hide my affections from Jacob at all. I was proud in who I loved, but in representating my family, I wasn't so sure, "I know what I am and I'm very happy to have found Jacob, but if they were to know..."

"What does it matter now, Edward?"

I knew she was right to think it didn't matter, but the child was still there, needing the loving approval of his parents, hearing the pride in their voices, needing their love, "I want to know I was doing right by them."

"You're happy and loved. That's all they ever wanted."

Sinking into the couch, I thought over her words. Was it that easy? Did it not matter who I was, what I made of their name? I never felt ashamed of who I was. I had relationships like any other openly gay male. I loved Jacob without restraint before I proposed. But it was different now that I openly expressed inviting him in the family, to share my name and history. How could I share these things when there was nothing I knew?

As if reading my mind, Esme spoke up, "There's something I need to give you," She dug her hand into her purse. A jangling of keys caught my attention just as she retracted her hand from the bag, "I planned on giving this to you right before the wedding as a gift. It's a little early, I suppose." I was thankful that she even believed that the wedding was still on. There was no way Jacob could forgive me if he was sitting in the Cullen household recovering the harm I done.

I felt my eyebrows pull together in confusion when I saw the two sets of keys on a single ring, a key chain of sorts attached as well. Reading my expression, she spoke up, "For your 18th birthday, the nice house in Galway was reserved to be yours," She spoke slowly, "It was your mother's pride and joy. Your father had it built for her right before they married. In fact, that's _exactly_ where they had their wedding."

"Why didn't I know this?" I was unsure whether I should have been angry or surprised, so I settled on watching her in silence.

"You weren't ready when you turned 18. You were so...determined for college and to take over the Galleria, that it would have been too much. And ever since then, you had been on this speed track. Your parents wanted this house for you when you were ready to settle down and enjoy life."

"They said this?"

She blew air between her lips, clutching the keys in her hands, "When you were born, your father handed me these keys. They were officially staying in the states to raise you and they weren't sure they were going home. I was to watch over the house, check up on it every year and when your 18th birthday rolled around, it would be yours. That was the plan of course.

"It was your parent's intention for you to have another home away from home to share with someone you love." She threw me a knowing glance before catching me off guard, tossing the keys my way.

I caught them just in time.

"This feels like the right time." She stood to her feet, her purse in her hand still.

"Esme, I don't understand. How is this the right time? You saw what I did to him." I was hopelessly asking her what to do. What use were keys to a house in Ireland to me?

"I did." She nodded, "And there's still time to fix it. He loves you a lot, Edward. And he's waiting for you to be ready for your lives to start together. Consider this a 'killing two birds with one stone.' solution." She answered before walking her way to the entrance of the house.

She left me in silence, fingering two keys to an unknown, foreign land. I felt my heart race as my mind ran through the 'solution' she spoke of.

And as if a light buzzed to life, I was able to see a bit clearer. For the first time in two days, I left the front room, marching my way to my office to start up my desktop. 5 minutes later, I had a booked flight to Galway, Ireland.

**xXx**

My breath caught in my throat as I pulled up to the Masen Property.

It seemed like another lifetime ago, proposing to the love of my life before losing him. The days following had been me mourning what slipped from my fingers before a heaven sent gift was thrown my way.

I was finally getting to know my parents as an adult.

I had packed my bags and by under an hour, I was on my way to the airport, ready to get on my flight that would be leaving in 2 hours time.

Jacob was forever on my mind.

15 hours later, I was pulling up to the beautiful house above the lush green hills on the open land. Just as Esme described on my way to the airport, it was more modern than some of the other traditional cottage - like houses in the neighborhood. Much to my surprise, it looked more like a get-a-way home than a place a wife an husband would spend their time.

I parked the car at the curve of the hill which I assumed was the drive-way before getting out, taking in the fresh, ocean heavy air. The keys dug in my palm in my nervous anticipation. I smiled, feeling the edges of the keychain against my skin. My eyes hadn't left it while on the plane - a small flag, divided in red and white.

The ground under my feet was unexpectedly green and taken care of and I pondered if despite being unoccupied, someone was being paid as caretaker other than Esme.

Or perhaps it was taken care of for this very moment.

My heart filled with a incomprehensible love for my aunt as I silently thanked her.

I felt light on my feet, when I stepped onto the patio and my pulse thumped in my ear as I slipped the key into the lock and turned.

Getting a whiff of ginger, I pushed open the door more. I took in the first area visible, feeling a relieved smile spread onto my face. It was like they never left.

I was sure in this moment I was ready to say good bye.

_Now_

He walks me back to bed, looking over his shoulder ever few steps to make sure I am still with him. I know he's right. We're here because of that painful two weeks without the other. I was able to explore my parents' home, the city and eventually come back home feeling more secured with myself and ready to beg on my knees until he came back to me.

I discovered a bit of myself in that house, looking over books, pictures and furniture. The smell, the lay-out of the rooms were of them 22 years ago. I could still feel them.

As I can feel them now.

We are back in the bedroom, the ray of morning light still streaking the bed in its warmth.

I don't waste time. I want to taste him, to feel him with me. It's my dream come true to share this with him, hold him on this morning, relishing in all he is. My lips meet his and we descend onto the mattress, not deterred when we bounce on impact. My hands comb through his hair and his tickle along my back before desperately holding me to him.

"Do you want to fuck your husband?" He teases, wrapping his legs around my waist just as I adjust myself on top of him.

"We can fuck later." I whisper against his lips, "Right now I need you to know..." _Know how much I need you. How grateful I am to have you. How happy I am to be here with you. _

"Show me."

That's all he needs to say.

_1 year, 4 months ago_

I was winded from the flight home, but a new calm had somehow took over. I explored every inch of my mother's home, reveling in the culture, the museums, the churches. It was far more urban than I expected, a multitude of people going about their lives. I enjoyed what I was able to take it, yet the ache was still there. Elated when my eyes caught something, I'd turn to my right, expecting him to be there, but seeing emptiness, much like what I felt. I wanted this with him. And as much as I enjoyed taking in a home I never knew, it was time I came back and let him know.

I had entered my house a day later. I was dead tired and ready for a deep sleep before I began my trip to La Push to gravel like I deserved.

After a week of staying with my aunt and her husband, Jacob felt it best to go back home. Esme called me that night, saying that he was still quiet, barely eating and hardly ever smiling. She and Carlisle offered him the extra room for as long as he needed, but he said he would probably feel better at home with family.

_His _family.

I wanted to change that if he would give me the chance. I wanted to make him a part of us as well as me a part of everything he represented. I wanted our futures intricately tied and bind together. I wanted _him_.

Closing the front door with the heel of my foot, I stumbled down the hallway and up the stairs to the master bedroom. It had been hard to sleep the last two weeks, but now that exhaustion was catching up with me, I found it might be easier now that I had run myself through the ground.

I needed to be well rested and with a clear mind if I wanted to make an appearance again. If Sam knew what happened, I was sure he'd be the one to greet me at the Black house. I didn't blame him.

I felt my jaw stretch as a yawn broke free just as I neared the bedroom. My actions stilled when I noticed a glow of light peeking from under the door.

I hadn't left any lights on.

Cautiously, I flattened my palm against the wood and pushed, unsure of what I'd see.

Who sat on my bed, face in palm, shoulders shaking in sobs was...

"Jacob?" I could hear the surprise and fear in my tone. What was going on? Why was he crying? Was he here to take the rest of his things? Was he here because something happened to Esme? Questions littered my brain as I stood there in the doorway, frozen.

He jumped up onto his feet, a hand over his heart, "Edward!" He seemed just as surprised to see me, "I thought you, I-I thought you left."

"I did." was my silent reply.

"But you're back?" He questioned, staring at me with wide, vulnerable eyes.

I wasn't sure how to answer. Did he not want me here? Was he expecting to pack with no company? My gut clenched at the idea and suddenly I was overwhelmed with the desire to jump across the space between us and hold him with every fiber of energy I had left.

"I saw your clothes were gone in the closet and your bed was untouched. I thought you just - just got up and left. I was afraid you-" He stared at me then with glistening eyes, "left me behind."

At that moment, I didn't care what my actions did to our situation later. I closed the spaced between us in few strides, before pulling my body against his in an embrace that took the air from my lungs.

"Never." I protested, "I can't leave you. I refuse to." I peppered his hot flesh with open mouthed kisses, avoiding his lips. No matter what I wanted to do to him, no matter how long I wanted to hold him, there was no way I'd kiss his lips without permission.

I felt him relax in my arms, "Where did you go?"

I pulled away, finally feeling the moment catch up with me. I needed him so much, but there was so much to say, "I was in Ireland, love."

His eyes searched my own, "Why?"

"I needed to let them go."

"And did you?" I could see the hope in his eyes along with the fear. I held him to me again, inhaling his scent. My eyes teared from the overwhelming proof that he truly was with me.

"I did. And I missed you the entire time." My words caught in my throat. Without speaking, Jacob cupped my cheeks stroking away the tears before silently pecking my lips. I relished the reunion, my heart whole again.

And then I felt it.

The cool metal on his finger.

"Jacob?" I asked, unsure if I was hallucinating or not.

"Shh," He whispered, lips pressing against mine in eager need, "You have me."

_1 Year Ago_

I wasn't sure about how this was going to work. In the last two months, the plans changed drastically, Esme and my willing participating cousin, Alice joined in on the hectic set-ups.

I didn't want it grand, but perfect.

"Your daughter was complaining again." I whispered to Esme, feeling just foolish. It didn't matter to me whether they were weeds or white roses, as long as he was there, everything was perfect.

"Well, you shouldn't have agreed to her help." She smiled knowingly. Even at 17, Alice was a storm to handle. I had never seen a girl get her way with so much force. It still surprised me that not only did Jacob get along so well with Esme, he did so with Alice too. In fact, I found it annoying more than anything. They were both a lot to handle alone, but in each other's company...

My mind was wandering again.

It had been on hyperactive ever since I stepped foot back in Galway. It was quite different reliving the places through Jacob's eyes. Certain areas grabbed his attention, which I had overlooked, one being a local pub. He was very adamant in enjoying Ireland like the locals, so for much of our time we eased our travels to the tourist populated areas, although I couldn't deny him the Galway City Museum. Together, we learned of Galway City's history and the people's heritage, taking in the exhibits, our brains sponging up as much as it could. It warmed my entire being watching him ask questions, pointing here and there to things, brown eyes taking in each piece of history before turning to me, "Isn't that awesome, baby?"

My future was with him.

And it made me _blissfully_ happy.

Smiling to myself, I relived our previous days together, unaware that Esme was still adjusting my tux.

"Cut off the goofy grin and help me fix this damned thing." Esme huffed, with the slightest hint of a smirk gracing her face.

My nerves were through the roof. My hands shook, my legs were wobbling where I stood, yet I knew I couldn't leave the room in fear that I might catch him and force him back to the bedroom where I'd consummate our love in a completely different manner.

"Honey, calm down." Esme laughed, before glancing at her watch, "5 more minutes and Carlisle will be meeting us outside. You ready?"

Uncharacteristically snorting, I gave her a flat look, "So much so, that skipping the ceremony would be a preferred maneuver."

She laughed, "Oh, that was me too, a millennia ago."

**xXx**

It took a lot of effort and money on my part to get Jacob's family there with us. Just like the day I met him, I was greeted with the trio of boys, only now accompanied by his father. The wind picked up around the trio as they stood just across from me.

And he stood...

Just a few feet away, exiting from the other end of the house.

God, it was time.

It was happening.

Looking over my shoulder, I was able to make out the dozen of chairs, family quietly seated. We hadn't invited many, due to the traveling and the comfort of keeping this intimate. I had Esme, Carlisle, Alice and my cousin Emmett, along with two close employees, Jasper and Tanya, whom both worked with me for nearly as long as I owned the company. It seemed Jasper was momentarily distracted eyeing my very _underaged_ cousin.

But none of it sank it.

These people. It was nice having them here, but my eyes were only meant for, "Jacob.." I whispered.

People assembled and settled just as he was escorted to the altar by his father. The wind picked up on the hill, a gush of air caressing my cheek and blowing my attempt at styled hair around my ears. The hill gave a break taking view of the ocean from the backyard, but it was nothing on the sight before me.

The scent of roses reached my nose, but his scent overpowered everything while the wind blew it my way.

I knew I wasn't supposed to yet, but I reached out my hand, my fingers caressing over his before he wrapped his hand around them, giving a subtle squeeze.

"I love you." I mouthed, proud to see his eyes light up.

"I know." He mouthed back, before winking.

The ceremony began.

The Officient before us spoke in a heavy accent, calm and peaceful in his stance as he carried on his words. Esme had thought ahead months before in search of someone locally for the union. It was a hard task within itself.

I kept my gaze leveled with Jacob, taking in the way he let out nervous huffs of air, biting his full lips before lifting his eyes up to mine, shyly. I knew perfectly well, this wasn't something he expected in life. Marriage hadn't ever been a thing he considered. It never bothered him to go through life 'unhitched', but no matter if it did or did not, I had always wanted him to experience it. He was worth it, no matter the laws or beliefs of others.

We were asked to share our vows.

I cleared my throat, hoping I had the strength to speak for everyone to hear, not that it mattered. As long as he heard.

"Jacob, I've been forever searching for a forgotten family. One I never rightly had. How foolish and blind I was not to realize that you were exactly that. You're my confidante, my best friend, and most of all, _everything._ My past is over and done with, but you're my present and future. And I've never been happier to know this. I love you." No matter how much I hated to see him cry, the look on his face when the words left my mouth, sent a jolt of love in my heart. The wide, beautiful teary grin would be forever etched in my mind.

It took a moment for Jacob to speak. Paul knowingly chuckled from behind him before he was able to voice his words, "Ginger," He started, getting a chuckle out of me, "I always thought it was weird that you were so interested in my family history, in what we did, what he ate, how we interacted. It was overwhelmingly odd for a pale face," At that, the trio of men cackled, "But I can understand it now. Being here with you, I see my other half. The history, the culture, the people. You wanted to understand the other side that made you. And now I do too. Forever, Edward."

_Now_

His cheek rests against mine, but he keeps his hips in motion, hiccupping gasps of moans every other thrust. I want to hold him like this forever, but the pressured tingle in my gut is about to give way.

I feel my chest press against his back as I pant sharply, attempting to keep my hips in pace with his. Desperately seeking my lips, his tongue flickers against my flushed cheek. I turn to meet his wet muscle, suckling it in my mouth, almost ruined when he gives a raw, guttural groan.

"Fuck, Edward!" His insides tighten considerably around me and I buck against him, "I can't hold on much longer, babe." He pleads and I take this as a go to touch his aching, neglected arousal. His juices collect on the tips of my fingers as they tease his head before sliding down his hardness in loose strokes.

"Ungh!" He cries helplessly on my lap. I love hearing him like this, "Beat me off." I obey, tightening my grip in a rhythmic pulse as he is doing to me, before I increase speed in my strokes. In even motions, I hold his hip with my other hand, urging him to continue impaling himself on me. His arm his raised over his head, fingers secured around my locks as he effortlessly lifts himself before directing his hips down on my lap, a sharp clap echoing in the bedroom.

I pull away from the kiss, to find my favorite treasured patch of flesh just below his ear, tasting the salty skin before nipping it lightly. My strokes don't cease, his hips don't cease and my teeth are what's enough to get him to let go.

"Edward!" That sharp cry again. He feels it. He always feels it. That humming flow of electricity between us. It's the only thing that will forever keep going even when he's not in my arms, even when we're separated, it'll still be there.

His brown skin is coated in his pearly essence as he lets out the last whines of pleasure in my arms before completely relaxing. My arousal twitches in him, but I wait for him to catch his breath. He awards me with open mouth caresses along my neck before knowingly climbing off my lap onto his knees, "I love feeling your cum in me, baby," He huffs, balancing himself on his elbows before looking over his shoulder, "Come in me, please."

I don't deny him.

I can't ever.

I'm on my knees again, pressing my thumb along his spine, before wrapping my remaining fingers around his hips as I slip into his tight warmth. His head bows, shoulder blades more pronounced as I fit myself fully in him. He isn't waiting. Pulling forward, his back curls and flattens as he presses back into me, giving me a satisfyingly enticing squeeze.

"Like that, baby?" He whispers.

I take him how he likes it, curling my body against his before offering kisses along the knobs of his spine, whispering my love and desire for him as I continuously pump into his willing heat.

His screams are pleading, a quivering need that never has been lost over the years. Clawing at the sheets under his fingers, he bucks erratically against me, begging for my release. His trembling takes over as I suckle my favorite spot again, driving myself deeper.

"Love you, love you," He chants, resting his head on his forearm. I hear his words and it drives me to my climax, my lips presses against his head of damp hair. He smells of the ocean from last night.

We tumble onto the bed in a heap of tangled limps and quivering bodies. It takes us a moment to situate ourselves. He finally is resting his head on my chest, a leg over my own as he whimpers from the contact of his shrinking arousal against my thigh.

"Mmm, think anyone heard us." He whispers, a puff of his breath hitting my exposed nipple. I groan at the sensation, "You always like to leave the window open."

I snicker, kissing the crown of his head, "Does that bother you?" He shakes his head, "I doubt you can be heard, although your screams are quite loud." He pokes my sides, causing me to squirm, "Our nearest neighbor is about half a mile over."

He rests his chin on my chest, brown eyes searching mine. He looks so beautiful with the sun's light on his bare back and ebony hair, "So, I was thinking we should check out the cathedral again." A new level of excitement in his voice.

"Nice to know I inspire God in you, love." I tease.

"Well, it's more when you're fucking me, I can't help but think of buildings with long phallic objects protruding from the tops." He winks, "So what do you say? We wash up, maybe fuck in the shower and we can be on our way to Shop Street and get a look at Lych's Castle too."

"Whatever you desire." I stroke his hair, loving how he leans into my touch.

"Okay!" He's up instantly, "I'll start the shower." He's gone in an instant. I regain some of my strength, sitting up in the bed, looking over the space. The walls are like they were when I first laid eyes on them. I walk over to the window, catching a glimpse out the window and I can't help the smile on my face. Exactly a year ago, that was where I vowed my life to him. The ceremony was everything I wanted. It was so much like walking on air having him before me, smiling through those tears. An image I'll never forget.

We are taking the week off on our anniversary, back to the start. Back to the very place we consummated our love, where I visited for the first time and knew he was the only thing I ever really needed. Back to the place where I knew I'd be home, because he would be in my arms.

**xXx**

**AN: Reviews would be much appreciated. I'm concerned as to how it ended. Let me know what you guys think!**


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